With all the complexities happening in our lives, it’s not uncommon to want to withdraw from a relationship. If you wish to take a break from your relationship without fully separating, this does not necessarily mean that your relationship is doomed to failure, but it could indicate that there are some profound problems to be solved. The truth is telling your partner that you wish to spend time aside from each other could sound wrong. Why? Because taking a break is a commonly used tactic to slowly withdraw from a relationship because of all the fears and uncertainties associated with separation. It is understandable that this may seem like an acceptable way of dealing with problems, but it is not always the case. Here are some tips for taking a break from your relationship without truly breaking up.
4. Be Honest With Yourself
Before making such a decision to put your relationship on hold, be honest with yourself to find out why you feel so. While there is nothing wrong with wanting space in the uncertainty surrounding your relationship, according to Susan Winters, a life coach: “It’s better to communicate, to open up to each other and try to work as a team [rather than take a break]. “According to April Masini, founder of a dating tips forum, taking a break could mean you’re running away from your real problems. “Making decisions about something traumatic requires space and tranquility. Sometimes a split is the best way to really focus, “says Masini. However, using a break as an excuse to really want to go out of a relationship is not the best course of action if your partner is not on the same wavelength.
3. Stand Up for Your Problems
“Taking a break is too often the easiest way to get out of the relationship,” admits Winter. It can be tempting to leave a relationship rather than make a final decision to solve your problems. “If you have uncertainty about your partner, you should ask them directly. Keeping it to yourself is not a solution: taking a break is not a solution to obtain important information. Your partner has to tell you what he really feels, even if you do not like what he has to say, “says Winter. In the end, once you have tried to solve your problems or made the decision to spend time confronting them, it is time to start a dialogue.
2. Establish Rules
If you and your partner decide that a break is the best solution, it is absolutely essential that you discuss rules to avoid future confusion. Masini often hears couples who have taken a break and then ended up, only to be disappointed when a person discovered that their partner had had one or more appointments with other people. “It is important to understand that a break means that you are single and that what happens during the break is yours.” Winter and Masini both agree that determinate the exact terms of a temporary split is the best way to make sure both people get the most out of the split without further tainting the relationship.
1. Accept That a Break Can Lead to a Break
“In order to have an effective break (because it can be a very difficult time), you need to have an agreement, end goals and timelines,” says Winter. If you find it difficult to have an open discussion about why you pause and agree on what it means for both of you, this could be a sign that a real break is to be expected … “[Just] taking a break does not cure or repair a relationship, it” freezes “the problem where it is,” notes Winter. Sometimes, two people simply cannot reconcile their mutual needs, which can be really painful when there is still a strong connection. You can then give your best in the relationship and see where it leads you with no regrets.