There are ups and downs in every long-term relationship. If you and your partner are going through a somewhat harder period in your relationship or if your sexual relationships are not as satisfying as before, it may be time to change that. How do other couples stay sexually fulfilled? Here are 10 habits that sexually active couples have according to sex therapists.
1. They accept imperfections
Life isn’t perfect and neither is sex. “Couples who have a lot of sex don’t look for the perfect situation, like being on vacation when their kids aren’t with them.” In everyday life, stress at work, family stress and stress at home come into play, says Dr. Holly Richmond, a sex therapist and marriage and family counsellor. “Couples who have lots of sex enjoy every available moment, perfect or not!”
2. They’re not sexually selfish
Although it is easy to get lost in the desire to feel pleasure, sex is more likely to occur when both parties are not selfish. “Sexually active couples are not self-centred, it’s not just about one person or another,” says Kristie Overstreet, Ph.D., clinical sexologist, psychotherapist and founder of TherapyDepartment.com. “These couples listen to what they need, especially when it comes to sex, they agree with each other’s sexual excitement and they try to fulfill their partner’s desires.”
3. They feel good about themselves
Having more sex can mean to love yourself even more, before making love to someone else. “Those who feel comfortable with their bodies don’t worry about their physical appearance,” says Overstreet. “They feel comfortable with their partner, which allows them to have sex often and enjoy it to the fullest.”
4. They trust each other
A common feature of very sexually active couples that also contributes to a successful marriage is trust. “You can’t be a very sexual couple and have trust issues,” explains Overstreet. “Trust and intimacy go hand in hand and you can’t have one without the other. These couples have probably gone through everything that could hinder trust in their relationship, so it’s one less obstacle to their privacy.”
5. They have sex anytime
Couples who are often busy do not rely on having the necessary desire to have sex, because it can be something they rarely feel, especially when children or a busy schedule are in the picture. “Sometimes a little foreplay can make you want to have sex with your partner,” Richmond explains. “This is especially true for women, for whom excitement often precedes desire.”
6. They want to have fun
Couples who have been together for a long time can feel the sexual spark begin to fade, especially if sex in the bedroom becomes a predictable routine. “Sexually active couples have fun, sex doesn’t have to be super sensual,” Richmond explains. “Sex can be fun and flirty, there can be laughter, sometimes the natural way of having sex is funny and fun.”
7. They confess what excites them
No matter how many times you have had sex with your partner, it can sometimes be difficult to express what excites you, or even what you would like most. “Sexual relationships and physical intimacy are something sexual couples do, as well as being verbal and open. Long before sex, tell your partner something personal, something intimate,” recommends John Robinson, NMD, a specialist in sexual health and hormones. “It could be anything, show you’re open, it starts with that sexual communication.”
8. They have sex to bring the connection closer
Since relationships can be flawed, having frequent sex can bring back the sense of commitment and even the strong bond you have built over time. “Sexually active couples see sex as a way to connect simply, even if only for a short time,” Robinson explains. “See what happens if you just commit to having sex every day for a week, for whatever reason… No excuses, do it and see how it starts to improve your level of intimacy, your self-esteem and your personal bond with your partner.”
9. They don’t object to quick sex
Finding time to have sex can sometimes be so complicated that it feels like a chore. “Very sexual couples often have short sexual relationships,” Richmond explains. “Sex doesn’t have to last 20 or 30 minutes, a short sexual relationship can be very hot and passionate.”
10. They have more in common than sex
“The sharing of hobbies and interests – hiking, adventure, travel, etc. – is a way of life. – helps maintain a long-term sexual passion,” explains Robert Weiss, LCSW, and author of several sex-focused books, including Always Turned On. “Highly sexually active couples also tend to share fundamental values and belief systems, but they tend to be on the same page with things like religion, politics, finance, education, etc.,” he says.
Source:
Woman’s Day
