All parents teach their children how to cope with everyday life. They show us how to ride a bike, sit at the table and tie our shoes. Mothers and fathers pass on their values to us. But unfortunately, not all parents have the time to teach their children all the skills they need to learn…
Coping with your own mortality is terrifying, but planning for your children’s future when you are no longer in the same situation requires a different kind of strength. A man accepted the possibility of his own death and worked tirelessly on a plan to prepare his children for life without him…
1. James Beeching, 36, from Hastings, East Sussex, liked to share adorable photos of his twins, Isobel and Logan, on social media.
His friends and family knew they could go to James’s social networks to find hilarious updates about his adorable twins.
2. James’s friends also knew that despite his sense of humour and loving messages about his children, he was suffering from a serious illness.
He had cystic fibrosis, a disease that blocked his mucus lungs.
3. But his illness never affected his temperament.
Diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at the age of two, he had long since adapted to his daily physiotherapy sessions and took enzymes with his meals to help digestion. His illness did not prevent James from having a relatively normal and fulfilling life.
4. He built a career in the public service as a community organizer and married his beloved, Becky.
Together, they started a family and had adorable twins, a boy and a girl, who brought them a lot of joy.
5. But just as his life was more meaningful than ever, his health reached a critical point.
James’s body was not able to fight infections as well as before. He started going to hospital more and his lung function continued to decline.
6. In January 2017, James’s lung function was so bad that doctors took drastic measures.
He was assessed for a lung transplant and was finally added to the waiting list. At any moment, the phone could ring to announce that new lungs were on the way.
7. Adding to the list was a start, but receiving a compatible donor could take months.
Waiting for news – and looking at his potential death – he made a responsible but emotionally thoughtful decision for his children.
8. James recorded videos for his twins in case he died of his illness.
He hoped against all hope that his twins would never have to see the tapes, but he knew that if he died, he had personal things to share with both of them and that was the best way to do it.
9. James was afraid that his twins would be too young to face the situation, or even to remember him completely.
His videos would be a physical memory that their father existed and that he fought with all his strength to live.
10. Soon James’s health deteriorated to the point where he was in the hospital all the time.
He would adjust to life at home for a few weeks, than be rushed back to give him intravenous antibiotics. In April 2018, he contracted a serious infection. He was afraid of dying while waiting for a transplant.
11. However, as he became increasingly ill, a glimmer of hope appeared.
The phone finally rang! A pair of lungs from a potential donor had just arrived! James had to act quickly to prepare for the operation.
12. A day before the lung donor’s call, James was admitted to Royal Brompton Hospital in London.
The potential donor was an hour’s drive away at Hillingdon’s Harefield Hospital, a world-renowned heart and lung transplant center. James was rushed to the scene.
13. But in the end, the donor’s lungs were not adapted.
James took the bad news well. He knew that this process was not simple. “It can happen,” he said, “so although it’s hard on morale, it didn’t shock me.”
14. James left the hospital that day, feeling strangely inspired to keep fighting.
He made a video on Facebook, thanking the people who supported him. He knew that without their support, he would find it difficult to continue fighting.
15. He also took the opportunity to remind people of the importance of becoming an organ donor.
He hoped his words would have an impact, since they came from a hopeful recipient, after all!
16. Two months after the first, a second potential donor arrived and everything started again: “Hurry to the hospital!”
Unfortunately, these lungs were not suitable either. James continued to make videos for his children – they seemed so much more important now…
17. Less than 24 hours later, the phone rings a third time.
Again, the lungs could not be treated. Exhausted, James and his family didn’t know how much longer they could bear these disappointments…
18. “Life became more difficult and my body was really struggling to get by,” James says.
“I needed more and more oxygen and had trouble keeping up with the pace.” James spent most of his summer out of the hospital. His body was getting weaker and weaker, but he felt happy to be at home, enjoying every day with his children.
19. When the phone rang again about a donor a few months later, he kept realistic expectations.
Then they told her to shower and prepare for surgery: the transplant was perfect!
20. The struggles of the past year have dissipated in just a few hours.
The operation went smoothly! James’s body accepted the donor’s lungs. He could take the first breath of well-deserved relief.
21. Five weeks after the operation, James returned to his family.
Apart from a few minor complications, his recovery went well: “It’s almost like buying a used car – at first, every little noise makes you nervous, but you get used to it over time.
22. The online community that has followed James’s story with delight.
In addition to his gratitude to his family and friends, he wanted to take a special moment to pay tribute to another person: the donor who saved his life.
23. “Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my donor and his family,” says James.
Thanks to his donor’s donation, James was able to destroy the tapes he had made for his children. Neither he nor they have to fear losing him again.
